二期07次作文批改展示来啦本次展示内容为2015年英语二小作文首先先来check一下作文真题叭 真题 1
volunteers wanted（建议还是用notice,你的题目只是表现一部分（忘记日期啦）
a summer camp is going to be held for high school students in our university this summer vacation. we are looking for volunteers to join us. the summer camp is organized to promote students’ faculty of learning and cooperation, which includes but not limits to speech contests and debates.(不错??）
volunteers we needed are supposed to help make plans for activities and deal with students’ daily affairs.（时态保持一致，need) a qualified volunteer should be conscious ,patient and responsible. if you are interested in volunteering, please register with your class monitor before next monday, june 15.
looking forward to your participation.
students’ union
内容逻辑（3分）：2.5语言表达（3分）：2.5语法基础（3分）：2.5格式（1分）：0.5总分：8评语 哈喽小刘～以下是这次作文的总评。整体还不错，又进步了。 题目这里，没办法全面概括所有的内容，保稳的话还是用notice吧。然后格式上，你忘了日期，之后要记得。语言表达也没什么问题。语法总体也没什么问题，怕你骄傲就不夸了。但是如果是上了学长的课之后再写的，下次可以尝试先写再听学长的讲解噢。 ??小刘继续冲～2notice
dec.10,2015
in order to help hight school students get a clear understanding about colleage life or university courses, a summer camp for hight school stufents will be held in our university next year.（拼写错误，high,college,high, students )
firstly, the summer camp will have 100 students, and therefore, we need to arrange them to visit the campus in two groups, after the visit, they wil attend the lecture.(groups 后面应该用句号；拼写错误，will) moreover, we need some volunteers for these activities, they can ensure these activities on the rails.(句子之间缺少连词，建议这里and they ) if you are interested in volunteer, you’d better have spare time during the next sunmmer vacation.(介词后面接名词/动名词/代词等，这里用volunteering ; 拼写错误，summer )
please contact me at 123@123.com if you are interested. we look forward to your joining.
students’ union
内容逻辑（3分）：2.5语言表达（3分）：2语法基础（3分）：2格式（1分）：1总分：7.5评语 哈喽小伙伴～以下是这次作文的总评。 内容逻辑方面没什么问题，语言表达两个问题，一是拼写错误较多，二是表达不是特别丰富，包括衔接词，形容词等都可以有多样的替换。 语法的问题主要是句子结构，两个句子之间需要连词。其实像这样字数要求的作文，不需一大段长度的句子，反而容易错。两个句子左右就差不多了。 有时间的话记得检查一下吧～3 notice （日期） there will be a summer camp for high school students in this summer vacation. （介词冗余，去掉in）therefore, we are looking for some suitable volunteers for this activity.（建议去掉，因为-s已经可以表达复数这个概念） the summer camp is organized to promote high school students’ academic learning and more significantly cultivate their ability to accommodate the new environment and cooperate with their partner through a variety of interesting team works and some kind of tough competitions.（根据语境，这里应该是partners) volunteers are required to help organize activities and deal with daily affairs during the summer camp. the ideal candidates ought to be patient, active, warm-hearted and responsible. of course, we will award you a volunteer credential to appreciate your participation. anyone interested please contact us by 123456@qq.com or reach us at number 7654321.students’ union内容逻辑（3分）：2.5语言表达（3分）：2语法基础（3分）：2.5格式（1分）：0.5总分：7.5评语 哈喽宝子，以下是这次的总评。有在慢慢进步噢，从第一次的各种问题到现在没什么语法问题，真的很棒了。 整体的结构没什么问题，第二段的长句没什么问题，还是很不错的。但是建议这样字数要求的作文，不需要特别复杂。而且要求规范的话，并列的成分的性质和形式应该都是一样的。建议：the summer camp is organized to promote high school students’ academic learning. more significantly，it cultivates their ability….， 语法的问题也少了很多，继续保持呀～4notice may 20，2021 a summer camp will be held on our campus for high school students who preferred to apply for our university next year on may 27.（时态问题，prefer)i am writing to briefly introduce this activity and recruit volunteers. first and foremost, the high school students will be leaded by volunteers to visit our campus in the morning.(lead的过去分词形式是led)during this period,volunteers should introduce our school’s background and learning environment to them.in addition,a sharing meeting will which we may make some suggestions about life and study to students will be held in the afternoon.(这里应该是手误吧，应该是in which；介词使用不当，建议这里用for)i am convinced that it will help them a lot in later time.(表示”以后”其实later就可以了,或者in the furture)finally,if you are interested in the activity,please do not hesitate to get in touch with us at abc@gme.com.(衔接词的功能之一是在一大段话中定位观点，这里其实已经不需finally了，直接if…) the students’ union内容逻辑（3分）：2.5语言表达（3分）：2语法基础（3分）：2.5格式（1分）：1总分：8评语 哈喽小伙伴～以下是这次作文的总评。 整体的结构合理，但是具体的一些固定搭配需要积累。时态的话，除了个别情况，最好全篇保持一致，也不容易错。语法问题其实已经很少了，只不过一些表达还需优化，对没把握的还是尽量用熟悉的表达，至少保证句意的通顺与连贯。最后一段如果只有一句话结尾，衔接词也是没有必要的。 整体上，你的发挥已经比较稳定了，就是时间稍微多些。可以根据不同主题，写好思路，提炼自己的模版了。现在多付出一些，考场上就会稍微轻松一些。加油～更多信息，请联系我们的英语小助手哦～（左）爱传播英语小助手杨杨（aichuanbo2022） （右）爱传播英语小助手小小（aichuanbo2023） 往期回顾??作业展示｜2013年考研英语一小作文作业展示｜2012年考研英语一大作文作业展示｜2012年考研英语二大作文作业材料|2012年考研英语大作文作业展示｜2012年考研英语一小作文作业展示｜2012年考研英语二小作文作业材料|2012年考研英语小作文
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